quote of the day

If work was a good idea,the rich would keep it all for themselves. Guess where Im off to.

EVERY DAY WE LIVE, WE ARE ONLY SLOWLY DYING

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown

never do today what you can put off till tomorrow

NEVER EAT ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, PONDER THAT ONE, O--WISE--ONE FROM THE NORTH!!

HHHMMMMM

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

you can teach a man to lie for you------he will learn to lie to you !!

Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him" she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it.

Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage.

Author Unknown

Never Explain Yourself To Anybody
Because the person who likes you doesn't need it.
And the person who dislikes you wont believe it. -- NWM

Stranger: Howdy do, Dude.
Dude: Oh, hey man, how are ya? I wondered if I'd see you again.
Stranger: Wouldn't miss the semis.

From the movie "The Big Lebowski"

No matter where you go, there you are....

"Quintana: What's this "day of rest" shit, man?! What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus! It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laughable, man! HAH
I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead! ...You got a date Wednesday, baby!"

From the movie "The Big Lebowski"

Dude: Who the fuck are you, man! Come on, man!
Private Eye: Relax, man! No physical harm intended!
Dude: Who the fuck are you? Why've you been following me? Come on, fuckhead!
Private Eye: Hey, relax man, I'm a brother shamus.
Dude: Brother Shamus? Like an Irish monk?

From the movie "The Big Lebowski"

In these days, a man who says a thing cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it. - Elbert Hubbard

Dude: Hey! This is a private residence, man!

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?". 


The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa